I’ve had a year!
Think Bored To Death plotline, with a bit of Kafka thrown in for good measure, maybe a dash of In Treatment now that it’s relocated to the hood, and you’ll begin to get a sense of what I’m talking about here.
I wish I could tell you all about it (well, maybe not) but suffice it to say that my fidelity to our most livable neighborhood has been sorely tested.
But, I’m sticking by you, Park Slope.
Because I love you even though you do kind of suck sometimes.
Because for every colossally entitled, god-awful person in residence (and I would argue that we have more than our fair share), I have met more truly smart, funny, good people day in and day out than anyplace else I’ve ever lived.
Because you feel more like a small town to me than most small towns, with accidental friendships forged on subway platforms, bored to death at playgrounds, waiting an hour to mail a package…
Because of all the hilarious, misbegotten brushes with lots of different people, like trying to discuss the weather with my last food coop walker and ending up deep in a discussion of electromagnetic phases and the coming end of the world, whereupon Park Slope ends up at the bottom of the ocean like Atlantis. Because you love my dog and let him loose in the meadow every day.
Because you love my kids and give them freebies just for being charming.
Because you teach them well.
Because while you are bent on self-improvement, your ass is still kind of fat.
Because of my pals at Blue Apron and all the eclectic shops that I can’t afford to buy much at but admire nonetheless.
Because I only have to move the car once or twice a week.
Because there is a Park Slope Parents to have permanently banned me.
Because I make at least one new friend a day.
Because of the surfeit of coffee and bagels, even though I really, really want some matzoh ball soup and brisket around here.
Because of the remaining hippies, legal aid attorneys, social workers, teachers, dykes, and sleep-deprived parents.
Because people still stop and listen as they run the gauntlet of causey reps that litter 7th Ave and still care about stuff beyond how much stuff they have.
Because fabulous failed to make a go of it in Park Slope and moved upstate.
Because, our hair is still in desperate need of a dye at times, our clothes schlubby, our unibrows untweezed (except for that crazy samurai slayer!), eyes bespectacled.
Okay, that’s it. Happy Holiday, Park Slope! See you next year.
