School is back in session. This means new classes, new teachers, new classmates and hopefully some new friendship opportunities. Children and teenagers living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), as well as typically developing children, can sometimes struggle with the social parts of a new school year. If you have a lovely child that is socially sensitive, my advice is to keep it simple and sweet.
Luckily, for us, we live in a location that offers many social opportunities. But let’s remember to think outside of the box. Social doesn’t just mean participation on sports teams or hanging out with a group of rambunctious, funny children. For the person that has ASD, or who is socially insecure, keep is simple and sweet.
Maybe have your child or teen feed the ducks and geese at the lake with just 1 other peer. Have your child and a peer walk in a complete circle in the park and end with a snack lakeside. They can share music along the way. Who doesn’t just love completing a circle and enjoying reinforcers like music and yummy snacks?! Movies are a perfect idea for spending time with friends, without having the internal nagging of “what should I say next?”…keep it simple and sweet. Riding bikes or scooters next to each other is another low-pressure social situation. Just think of how many social skills are addressed with this simple activity: checking on your personal space, keeping in rhythm with your buddy, small talk, joint attention and more and more and more!
With school comes at-home responsibilities…having a study buddy or homework pal will help friendships blossom. Set a regular schedule where 1 day per week your child and a friend from school complete homework together, have a snack and relax with a low-key activity…after-school cartoons, binge-watching NETFLIX until they meet again next week or walking to the corner for a snack.
If you are and your loved one are unsure who can be a potential friend, it helps if you choose someone who has a similar demeanor and enjoys many of the same interests. If your child or teen is mellow- yellow then seek out the artists or the musicians or the intellectuals. I always tell my clients with ASD…”you just need 1 friend. Anything more than that is a bonus.” That is an achievable goal for everyone. Just 1 friend can make the difference in every child’s school year.
Rebecca McKee
Rebecca McKee is the owner of The 13th Child Autism & Behavioral Coaching, inc. Rebecca has a Master’s Degree in Special Education, with a Concentration in Autism Spectrum Disorders. She is also a Board Certified Behavior Analysis (BCBA). Rebecca’s clients have ranged from babies to adults. The name for her company came about because Rebecca is the 13th child of her family and the fact that society views 13 as unlucky, as some may also view having ASD. However, in this case being #13 is lucky and those good vibrations are available in abundance for someone living with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The philosophy of The 13th Child Autism & Behavioral Coaching, Inc. is for all people to enjoy a high quality of life including achievement, creativity, friendships, spirituality and wellness. Services can take place at the child’s home, school and community. Rebecca McKee lives in Brooklyn New York.