The Slope Survey returns for it’s 30th installment
Jon Glaser is an actor and writer who created, co-wrote and starred in the TV shows Delocated, Neon Joe Werewolf Hunter, and Jon Glaser Loves Gear. Most people recognize him as Councilman Jamm from Parks and Recreation and/or Laird from Girls. An Emmy winning/multiple Emmy nominated TV writer, his credits include The Independent Spirit Awards hosted by Aubrey Plaza (Emmy win), Inside Amy Schumer, Late Night with Conan O’Brien and The Dana Carvey Show. He has written several stories for The New York Times Magazine, and his writing has also appeared in ESPN The Magazine, Bicycling Magazine, The Onion A.V. Club, and on-line for New York magazine. His first book, My Dead Dad Was in ZZ Top, was published by Harper Perennial, and he wrote and directed the music video for Bob Mould’s “Star Machine.”
What brought you to Park Slope?
When my son turned 2 (he’s rapidly approaching 18), we decided to make the move to Brooklyn for ‘more space’ and ‘cheaper rent’. Don’t worry, the answers only get more boring from here.
What is your most memorable Park Slope moment?
Soon after moving here, as I was leaving the park with our old dog, two Park Slope WADS (white, active, diminutive seniors) with three dogs between them were entering, deeply engaged in a loud, spirited chit-chat. As soon as they entered the park, they let the dogs off leash (they were not at the designated off-leash area yet). The dogs proceeded to run off in three different directions. Two immediately started shitting. The ladies walked ahead, oblivious. I kept waiting for them to look back/notice/deal with it, but they just kept walking and clearly didn’t care. So I not-so-nicely yelled out “TWO OF YOUR DOGS TOOK SHITS BACK HERE.” They both did that hackneyed move of pretending to double back and look for a few seconds only to just turn around and continue on their way. I bit my tongue and turned to walk away, only to have one of them yell back over her shoulder a super smug, super entitled “YOU COULD HAVE BEEN NICER ABOUT THAT!!!” Trying to take the moral high ground over someone’s tone about not picking up your dog’s shit is about as peak Park Slope as it gets, and has yet to be topped. But there have been plenty of contenders!
Describe your community superpower.
I carry a water bottle with me on dog walks and rinse my dog’s (frequent) pee if it ends up anywhere but the street.
If you could change one thing about the neighborhood, what would it be?
I guess I’ll stay on the dog theme here and say get rid of all the annoying dog owners. DO YOU: not curb your dog and let your dog piss on other people’s entryways/property? Let your dog pee in other people’s curbside gardens that they worked very hard on? Put your dog’s disgusting shit bag in some random stranger’s private garbage bin, for them to smell every time they take out the trash, or worse, have to clean up if/when the bag breaks, all because you were too lazy to walk half a block and drop it at a corner public garbage can? Whether it’s head-scratchingly oblivious inconsideration for others, or just sheer, staggering laziness, make your problem other people’s problem by leaving your dog’s leash ON during OFF-LEASH hours, allowing it to violently whip about behind your sprinting, darting dog, only to give other dog owners nasty rope burns (I’ve seen some doozies), not to mention the stressful, ever-present threat of it wrapping around and snapping a dog’s leg? Bring your toddler with you to off-leash hours and set them in the middle of a bunch of free roaming dogs that are enthusiastically hauling ass everywhere during hours that are specifically designated for them to get to do just that, and then cop an attitude and/or throw a dirty look if another dog runs by too close? If you answered yes to any or all of those, FUCK OFF. And that’s it! Other than that, Park Slope is perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing!!!
What do you think Park Slope will look like in 10 years?
Maybe it will be re-christened Winner Slope because of all the new Winner outposts, including Winner shoe store and Winner gym. (for the record, I love Winner)
What are you reading, would you recommend it?
I will give a plug to “Duct Tape and Bailing Wire: From City Streets to Mountain Peaks” by local hero Kevin Rosenberg.
What is your greatest extravagance?
If you couldn’t live in Park Slope or in Brooklyn, where would you go?
I guess I’ll stay on the dog theme here and say get rid of all the annoying dog owners. DO YOU: not curb your dog and let your dog piss on other people’s entryways/property? Let your dog pee in other people’s curbside gardens that they worked very hard on? Put your dog’s disgusting shit bag in some random stranger’s private garbage bin, for them to smell every time they take out the trash, or worse, have to clean up if/when the bag breaks, all because you were too lazy to walk half a block and drop it at a corner public garbage can? Whether it’s head-scratchingly oblivious inconsideration for others, or just sheer, staggering laziness, make your problem other people’s problem by leaving your dog’s leash ON during OFF-LEASH hours, allowing it to violently whip about behind your sprinting, darting dog, only to give other dog owners nasty rope burns (I’ve seen some doozies), not to mention the stressful, ever-present threat of it wrapping around and snapping a dog’s leg? Bring your toddler with you to off-leash hours and set them in the middle of a bunch of free roaming dogs that are enthusiastically hauling ass everywhere during hours that are specifically designated for them to get to do just that, and then cop an attitude and/or throw a dirty look if another dog runs by too close? If you answered yes to any or all of those, FUCK OFF. And that’s it! Other than that, Park Slope is perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing!!!
What is your greatest extravagance?
A stunning British carbon gravel bike. I went for it when I probably shouldn’t have and I’m glad I did.
If you couldn’t live in Park Slope or in Brooklyn, where would you go?
Somewhere upstate.
Who is your hero, real or fictional?
I have always found inspiration from The Flaming Carrot.
Last Word, What’s is turning you on these days?
Prospect Park. We’re all so lucky to live so close to this magnificent place, but I’ve been feeling extremely appreciative lately. I’m in the park every day, usually twice a day, mostly off-leash in the morning and then some kind of woods excursion (walk/hike/trail run/gravel ride) in the afternoon, usually with my dog. And then the occasional night run or night ride. To be walking distance to full immersion in nature right in the middle of Brooklyn is a real luxury.
